Monday 2 December 2013


NIGHT JOURNEY

Once upon a long year, until it was begun,
A silence blankly reigned, we were devoid of fun.

And never did we realise, time was slipping by
As the TV yipped along, sapping all our sighs.

Then out from a corner, stepped a mystic beast,
Bowing but not smiling, with an invite to a feast.

Out into the night we flew, with all the lights a blur,
Eyes glistening with fear, on the beast with golden fur.

To a lazy mirror lake, where we set down on a boat,
With lights and dancing shadows, to spend the night afloat.

The eve was young and pretty, the revels just begun,
When out of the blackness, a terrific storm did come.

We tightened down the vessel, and cowered ‘neath the mast,
Sharing warmth snuggled up, whilst the night did last.

But come the raging morning, with no escape in sight,
Our mystic beast did rouse us, pressing us to flight.

So buffeted and blasted, we flung into the air,
And driving through the spray, soon arrived at its lair.

And there among the foul rocks, we passed some hours in fear,
Whilst the creature twitched and glowered, ‘til the storm began to clear.

Hungry as we were, we dared not hope for bread,
And the beast was clearly troubled, as it turned to us and said:

‘You have followed me too far, too far to make it home,
‘Now you become kin with me, and along with me will roam.

‘The boat is lost, the lights are gone,
‘We are the last, we shall be one.’

Then began our third flight, across the swollen lake,
Where the beast with her cries, did a powerful mantra make.

Now in this barren range, away from earth and you,
We see life broad and simple, fresh and full and new.

So any quiet evening, with nothing much to do
Look sharp, content and occupied, or we’ll come and visit you!



Colin Morgan  

22 comments:

  1. Actually, I think this is a warning--thank you for your visit!

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    1. Yes, it is a less subtle warning that your poem - but there are other serious elements to it too - it depends where it takes you...

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  2. Colin.. this has the touch of a dark fairytale or "a Christmas tale"... is this punishment for watching to much TV :-)... Loved the captivating storytelling and that touch at the end...

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    1. Thank you, Björn. The last verse was added later, and wondered if it was a good idea or not, as it changes the whole story significantly!

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  3. Okay...I'm not bored...I'm not bored!

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    1. Don't you want to go on a magical journey? Smile

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  4. ha...i like the questing in this...the chasing down and slaying of our beasts...and only to make friends with them and head off on yet another quest...a rather jaunty and fun tale..i like the rhythm of it...

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    1. Thank you Brian for your comments on this and all my previous submissions. I have enjoyed joining in with dVerse over the last few weeks - the poems and the friendly reception - it is good to share.

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  5. Sounds like it might be time to turn off the boob tube and meet the beast head on...

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    1. Glad you saw something in it - I am sure it is all out there!

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  6. I think I might rather hang with the beast than waste my time in front of the TV

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    1. Yes, that is the idea, I think - but it is scary...

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  7. Wow - to me, this is a great parable. I think the Beast is Life, coaxing us to participate. I love your structure, as well as the story-telling. It's nice to see the rhyming, too. Wonderful poem, full of things to think about..

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    1. Thank you. I think there are other similar stories in various myths around the world, but I was not thinking of those - this is how it came out as I wrote it.

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  8. Very nice. We've been thinking about our TV habit in the evenings and how easily the time slips away.

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    1. Thank you - yes, it can perhaps be taken as a reminder most of us need...

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  9. oh, nice admonition - a cool mix of Grimm and Sendak ~

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  10. The 'Eve/eve was young and pretty' had me intrigued :-)

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    1. ...I had not read it that way before, but, yes, it is there - especially with the use of the word pretty. Thank you for sharing.

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  11. Hi Colin,

    I tried commenting just now - maybe it was swallowed by the ether. Anyway, what I said was that this reminds me a little of the story of Narcissus, who wasted away gazing lovingly at his reflection. We spend hours gazing at our TVs, many of us wishing we were appearing on them rather than passively viewing whatever happens to be on; your poem gives us fair warning about our possible fate.

    You have a strong rhythm running throughout this poem, but there are a few lines where the meter is interrupted, which caused me to stumble on them as I was reading. I don't know if you read your poems aloud, but it might help you to pick up these slightly awkward lines. Hope this helps, Tony

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  12. You are right about the meter - I have previously run through it and tapped out the syllables with the necessary emphasis and made changes to improve it - but some of the lines are still not right. I would like to be able to say that sometimes this is on purpose as the trip adds something to help the meaning or break the flow - but I have not been nearly clever enough to do that consistently! I have been improving this poem gradually since I wrote it, but I agree more work on this aspect could improve it further. Thank you for your considered criticism - always welcome.

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